Death is not the End

Just the other day a close friend of mine graduated to heaven. Alice had been my neighbor for over a decade and was a good friend to me and Craig.

She was a Godly woman who always had a smile on her face. Even when her own husband passed away, she maintained a positive outlook on life. She knew that there was something beyond life on Earth.

Alice shared with me many times in our heart-to-heart chats that God was good to her. I learned a lot from Alice, not just through her words but through her actions. Death may have temporarily separated us, but I will see my friend again soon and very soon.

Every one of us is just passing through this Earth on a journey from birth to death. Death is something that is often feared and usually unwanted. When someone we know loses a loved one, it can be awkward, and we may not know what to say or do for them; it’s a depressing subject, usually avoided. But why is that the case? Especially for Christians who believe in life-eternal? We are promised a life hereafter that is glorious and more amazing than we can ever imagine!

Until my mid-40s, I had lost a couple of relatives, but not any immediate family members. I had lost friends, but not those in my inner circle. Death was visible, but it still seemed quite distant. I went through my days assuming that I would live to see tomorrow. In my late 20s, I became a Christian and was thankful for the gift of eternal life, yet I envisioned it as this far-off place that I would see someday, but not any time soon. I recall friends who had lost close loved ones. I’d send a sympathy card and, in some cases, attend the memorial service. I honestly did not fully understand. Death was mysterious to me. I preferred not to think about it and avoided the topic altogether.

In my mid-40s, my husband Joe was diagnosed with small-cell lung cancer. The prognosis was 2-5 years, and I spent a lot of time reading about the impending doom. Initially, I was frightened about what the future would hold. After the shock wore off, and after much prayer, I knew I had to “be the strong one” (God to make me strong). My husband Joe and I spent the next 5-years enjoying life to the fullest. Joe and I both have a strong faith in God, so we rested in the fact that He would soon be in the arms of Jesus. But when Joe left this Earth in October 2019, I was confronted with the reality that our lives are short, and our days are numbered. Suddenly, death became very real to me.

My father had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a year prior to my husband’s passing. My dad was doing well for the first couple of years, but eventually, his health declined. My dad, the man I thought could never die, left us in July of 2021.

He was under home Hospice care at the time. The image of the funeral home staff carrying him out of the house that night still haunts me. It felt as though I had aged 20 years as I drew even closer to the thought of my own mortality. The subject of death could no longer be avoided; it was here again, and it struck deep.

Only a few months later, in October of 2021, I heard the words that I never thought I’d hear. I had endometrial cancer, but thankfully it was found early. After surgery, I was “cancer-free” and back to living life. But just a few months later, around the end of March 2022, I knew something was very “off”. In May of 2022, I was in excruciating pain and my husband Craig rushed me to the ER.

They found 2 large masses on my ovaries and the next couple of weeks were unbearable as I wouldn’t know the details of what I had / what stage I had until after the surgery. Thankfully, the ovarian cancer was stage 1C (early), but I did need to go through some frontline chemotherapy treatments. Having faced a near fatal illness brought me yet another step closer to seeing that this life is but a vapor (see James 4:14).

Losing someone close to us often encourages us to reexamine our own lives. We gain a heightened awareness that life is extremely precious. We are not promised tomorrow or even the next 5 minutes. But being aware of our own mortality can encourage us to put our hope and faith in an IMMORTAL God who calls us to eternal life.

Ever since my husband Joe and my father passed away, my favorite scripture is 1 Corinthians 15:55-57, “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ”. We have hope through Jesus and His resurrection. Even though we are scarred by death, we have the promise of life eternal.

Just as Jesus rose from the grave, we can one day do the same.

So, let’s talk about death. Let’s talk about grief. As Christians, let’s not avoid this topic. Let’s encourage one another with the promises of God. I pray that death will remind us to love our neighbor and care for those who are still with us. I pray that death will make us more aware of what really matters. I pray that death will only strengthen the bond of humanity and make us one in Him.

For now, I say goodbye to my neighbor Alice, to my husband Joe, to my dad, and to many others who have risen from the grave.

But our goodbye is not forever.

Death is not the end of our story.

I will end with a quote from Ruth Padilla DeBorst, “Brokenness is not the end of the story. Our pain is deep, but it is not all-encompassing; our loss is enormous, but it is not eternal; and death is our enemy, but it does not have the final word.”

Ms. Lady Lake